Parenting With Mindfulness

Mindfulness is present in all of us. Mindfulness is an awareness of your thoughts, sensations and their interactions with your present experiences. I have recently found an awareness of mindfulness in my own life. I have seen it be absent in the most innocent of ways in others. I hope to share with my families and patients with the goal of helping them to cope with the challenges of parenting and growing up, respectively. Mindfulness as a parent may mean placing your phone down and holding off on chores to play a puzzle or color with your toddler (being completely present). Mindfulness for some means turning your dining room into a playroom. Rather than have a pristine white wanes coating to match the interior decor of your ideal dining space, you replace it with hand drawings to teach your younger children about shapes, letters and maybe even a second language. Mindfulness is stopping all that is part of chaotic daily life and breathing the fresh air.

You must clear your mind, noticed your surroundings, experience and sense what is around you just at that moment. When I incorporate this into my parenting, I am mindful to be more attentive to my children. I am keying into those moments when I am not. If you don’t recognize this, educate yourself and learn, then you will struggle to grow in these positive experiences or foster your sense of mindfulness. On the drive to school, my young children comment on the beauty of the mountains. This is because I have been careful to model this. I secure a sense of appreciation in them for all of the natural beauty that exists in the Blue Ridge Mountains. Of course this is sometimes coupled with screaming arguments between siblings, whining about the seatbelt and desperate attempts to sip my morning coffee while it is hot, but it is there. I look for it because I need to remember to be mindful throughout my days. We never have enough time. Not enough time to call our dearest friends for the long conversations we long for. Not enough time to complete all the tasks we think we need to do in a given day. Time will continue to creep on. So take a breath, notice the moment, and realize the effect this practice of mindfulness can have on your life. The effect it can have on your children’s lives. If you are calmer, open and mindful, your children will be as well.

Allow your toddlers to explore and allow them to break branches, roll around in grass and play in the dirt. Teach your adolescents to put down the the screens and have real conversations with others. Encourage them to have experiences through living and not through social media. Teach your children to meditate at an early age. Deep breathing can be helpful during those infamous temper tantrums. Meditation can be useful for inducing sleep and helping with anxiety. Find the joy in these times and realize that life is never perfect. The imperfections and crazy times should lead us to the recognition that we need mindfulness. Use your energy to focus on the present moments. This does not mean you silence your goals, hopes or day to day responsibilities. It just means that you stop and remind yourself to breathe. Walk through a creek in your bare feet whenever you can. Step on a snow-covered ground in your socks. Concentrate on the warmth of a fire or the heat blowing up through the vents in your floor (much like our 2 year olds). Fill your time with positive energy and model this for your children. It may help you to enjoy the art of parenting. You will always have the challenging moments filled with grief, doubt, conflict and anger. There is so much we cannot control while on this parenting journey. The magic is in challenging yourself. Shift your thoughts to the positive ones because you are capable of this despite all that happens around you. As a respected colleague always says, to discipline means “to teach”. Remember the advice in medical training: “see one, do one, teach one”? Translated into the art of parenting: learn along the way, practice what works and teach your children.